And where to begin? It was a 48 hour labor. It was a frightful birth. However...God was in control and His perfect planning and timing was so evident to all of us. The morning after the birth we spent a bit of time thanking God for those specific blessings in the previous two days.

* safety as we both drove through severe storms to arrive at the hospital
* excellent nurses each night and day
* the right doctor available
* a place for my kids to go
* Drew's availability to take care of Keri
* the patience given during difficult decisions
* special friends praying from afar
* my availability to be there
* a patient and encouraging hospital staff
* rest when needed, even for just a few minutes
* a quality breakfast at the hotel, might sound strange, but it was definitely a blessing
* a hospital discount at the hotel
* medical technology, giving us the freedom to make the most informed choices possible
* God's guidance for those choices that involved the inevitable unknowns of birth
* the best doctor quote ever: "It was a treat to have a mom and dad who was patient with the birth process and not rushing into quick decisions."
* Christian nurses with a great mix of gentleness and sense of humor.
* Madelynn's great coping with being away from mom and dad for several nights for the first time.
* More blessings than we even humanly realize.....

"...the heart of Asa was wholly true to the LORD all his days."
~ 1 Kings 15:14

What a blessing to be an intimate part of your birth sweet boy!

(traveling in style - Ray came to visit and brought the trailer so I didn't have to drive home :-)

So....is it poor manners to blog during a birth? This is certainly a first - and, ironically, a last. I think every doula has "what if" birth fears. For whatever reason, God is allowing all my fears to come alive this time around. I drove three and a half hours to this birth - with a headache - in a severe thunder storm. Contractions went on all night, but little change in the cervix. Little sleep. Small area to walk. Now, 19 hours after I left home, we're still having contractions consistently and mom and dad are walking together in Walmart. But there is light! All babies come eventually! And, these are great friends of ours! If they weren't this might put me over the edge. Because they are, I can easily maintain my optimism and energy. A reminder that all births are lovely miracles from God. And so we walk....and wait...come on baby Asa, let's see your pretty face!

In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone O LORD, make me dwell in safety. ~ Psalms 4:8

Dreams. They really are strange if you think about it. My brain makes up stories when I'm asleep. Some of them are really pointless. Some of them are really confusing. Some of them are extremely meaningful. Stick with me here.

This past week I've been prompted, by several dreams, to seriously consider what role, if any, do God and Satan play in our dreams. I don't really know. Without a doubt God used dreams in the bible. Many, many people were given legitimate information through their dreams. At the same time, I think it's ridiculous to think all our dreams mean something. But I also think we lead very busy lives and possibly our sleep is the only time we slow down enough to "listen" to God.

Even scarier, to me, what about Satan's role? Are dreams a tool of his too? Again, I don't know. If I think about that question for too long I could really freak out! And, really, since it's a question with no answer, it's probably best not to waste too much time on it. So instead of talking in circles - that really annoys me - let's get to the point.

I definitely feel God gave me a word picture via a dream concerning a major decision Ray and I will be making in the near future. It wasn't a booming voice, or a promise, or a glimpse of the future, but I feel it was something to take seriously. That was several weeks ago and I've had plenty of time to think about it. I've only shared its details with Ray.

I also think there are times when I am challenged through dreams. Often my worries and fears are exposed, my temptations are brought to light, or my insecurities are made obvious. Now, I don't know that I believe it is something specifically controlled by Satan: "Tonight I think she shall dream about....this!" I don't think so. But I do think those are prime times to give those fears, temptations, and insecurities to God and ask Him for strength to fight them or get through them. It's also a good time to analyze myself (sounds deep, huh?) and any current circumstances in life. Sometimes when I dream something worrisome it's my reminder that God is in control and I'm perfect capable (with Him alongside) to accomplish the coming task.

Perhaps tougher, the temptations. They wouldn't be temptations if they weren't desirable. These are the times when I get frustrated. I didn't think that on purpose! I wasn't even given the chance to consciously say/think "no" or "go away". Perhaps at these times it's my job to practice not re-living the dream and its circumstances or people involved over and over in my mind. Uggh! So frustrating.

Maybe it's grasping at straws for some of you, but I don't see why we shouldn't relate every bit of our lives to God, even something that is as vague and "sub-conscience" as our dreams. So if you're plagued by worrisome dreams or dreams that make you feel insecure or dreams that indulge a temptation, ask God for relief. We are promised that He "goes with us wherever we go." Why should that not include our sleep.

We all know how lullabys work for young children. They calm and soothe and invite peaceful sleep. Here's something to enjoy that functions in much the same role for me. The picture doesn't change, so close your eyes and enjoy the words: Lullaby for big people.