Petals or thorns? It's all in how you look at a rose. Beautiful or messy? It's all in how you look at birth. What a blessing and craziness the past four weeks have been. Three beautiful baby girls entered the world and I was fortunate to provide doula support for each one.

The first, the perfect birth all doulas desire: Mom and Dad were a great team, Mom was gracious enough to allow her mother-in-law to experience the birth (not Mom's first choice), kind and patient nurses attended, when Mom was nearly through transition and felt she could not go on I was Provided with the right words and encouragement so today she confidently knows she birthed her own baby, in her own way, and without intervention. A wonderful birth.

The second birth, three days later, was again wonderful. A Dad home on R&R got to meet his baby girl immediately instead of six months from now. Mom was a picture of strength and sacrifice for her daughter, laboring with pitocin, without an epidural (save one hour of labor), and with a broken rib. In the end she progressed from 4 to 10 in one hour. Her perfect baby girl is such a blessing.

Baby girl number three made her entrance into the world in her own bedroom, in a warm tub, surrounded by her daddy, sister, aunt, grandma, and two great-grandmas. Again, what a blessing to see a Mom and Dad work so perfectly as a team. She is absolutely beautiful and quite possibly being snuggled 24 hours a day!

The blessings continued this month as another client, already doing all she can for herself and her baby, found a place for birth that fits her needs and desires. One of my very first clients announced a second pregnancy - yah for repeat clients! And a third mom, who is need of extra support, accepted my help when I reached out to her.

The life of a doula is emotionally fulfilling, yet draining at the same time. What a privilege I have to support women through a vital point in life. What a gift to have a supporting husband and children. I am richly blessed.

Today my first "unofficial" baby is 2 years old. What better way to begin a career as a birth doula than to assist a friend with her first delivery. There were many hours of labor and there were many hours of driving, but they were all worth it to see sweet baby Madelynn and her wonderful parents. We were all inexperienced but God led the way. Thank you, dear friends, for allowing me that invaluable experience. I'm thankful for the opportunity to share in the moments your family grew from 2 to 3. May God bless you as you raise Madelynn in the ways that will please Him.

Have you ever prayed? Seriously prayed because there is no other option out? That's how I felt as I got ready to get in the car and attend my first birth. I had an extreme case of "flight or fight" - Cannon could have used me as experimental data. My training was complete, my bag was packed, my family was out of town, all I need to do was get in the car and drive to the hospital. I, however, was just about frozen with fear. Fear that I didn't know enough. Fear the nurses would hate me. Fear that I'd forget some important item. Fear I didn't know what to say to be comforting. Fear that I'd pass out. Fear of everything, pretty much. Shaking, I prayed out loud to God that I had no idea what I was doing. That I really needed Him to tell me what to do and to take care of me and this birth. It was all I could do to get in the car instead of calling my in-labor-client and tell her I had choosen the wrong path in life as a doula and, sorry, but she was on her own today.

Two years ago, my first client couple was a beautiful team. As I observed them work wonderfully together I really felt they must be a great team not only through birth, but life. Recently I've observed from afar that this is indeed the case. That day, and night, they were the perfect first clients for me. They were patient with my inexperience and a great example of a laboring couple. When the dr. asked to break her water they asked for my opinion. I encouraged her to go with her own desires. As a result, her labor was probably a lot longer, but I was proud of her for sticking to her plan. She labored through the night. Walking. In the tub. On the monitor. Walking. Resting. Monitor. Tub. On and on... The nurses were kind, a big relief. Early in the morning, with little to no progress most of the night, I took a short break to check in with my kids and take a mental break. On the phone I broke down with my husband. I was exhausted. It seemed the labor had stalled. I wanted to be at the special family event that I was missing. More prayer. More submission to God's plan and timing. I went back to the L&D room with a renewed peace and patience.

A short time later my client agreed to have her water broken. With just a short time relaxing in the tub, contractions increased. She felt the need to push and with only three pushes a beautfiul baby girl was born. It was a miracle. It was a blessed first doula experience. I learned to be patient. I learned God's timing is perfect and He will sustain me. Since then I have over and over felt the confidence of His timing - when new clients call, when births actually occur - He's there watching over all involved.

Thank you dear first clients for putting up with this inexperienced doula. I wish we could do it all over again, so you could have a more whole experience. You will always be a blessed memory to me.

August ~ 2006 It's almost time to begin. We've been looking pretty and smiling all day. My daughter has almost reached her limit, but the most important part is still yet to come. The flowergirl and the bride's maid. Before the hour arrives, my son needs a meal. He's 4 months old and has spent the day with Daddy. I wonder how that's gone, but that conversation will be later. For now he's hungry and I'm in a floor length, baby pink, lightly sequined gown. Fortunately it's strapless...easy access, if you know what I mean. Another bride's maid who is a life-long friend and newly pregnant herself is looking on. She's intrigued by the ease of my nursing abilities - this is my second baby so this is old hat to me. As my baby nurses away she comments, "That would make a great picture." I laugh and respond, "Nursing in a ball gown?" Her comment was only a moment. She probably doesn't remember making it. But for me, she was affirming me as a mother and a beautiful person. Perhaps it was the gown and make up and hair ~ we all know how much that can help our self-concept, but more long lasting, was the desirablility and picture of motherhood as a beautiful stage of life. Four years later the compliment is still providing comfort and confidence to me. Thanks, Amy!