Chick-Fil-A and the Third Commandment

There’s a buzz about town in the politically conservative and Christian communities.  Manhattan is finally getting a “real” Chick-Fil-A, apparently the one in the K-State Student Union doesn’t count.  But anyway, it’s pretty exciting for a lot of people.  Honestly, I think they’re pretty regular chicken sandwiches myself.

Meanwhile, our ministry staff has been leading us through a study on the 10 Commandments this summer.  And, trust me, this isn’t a typical sleepy, solemn series.  It’s been step-on-your-toes fantastic.  If you want to listen to the sermons you can hear them here.  Two weeks ago we were on Commandment Number 3:  “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.” - Exodus 20:7  I have to admit, when the sermon began I thought the minister was going too easy on the subject.  Not sure what I was thinking, because he tactfully never “goes easy” on anything God spells out clearly, and if I’d just been patient in my thinking I would have heard I had nothing to worry about.  As listeners we were reminded of the reasons God’s name is commonly misused:  insults, irritations, indulgences, intimidation, impression, and on impulse.  It’s beyond saying, “Oh, my God.” in the wrong context.  Carelessly throwing out God’s name to impress others is just as much a misuse.

Back to Chick-Fil-A.  Chick-Fil-A is known as a Christian owned chain.  They readily support what would be “conservative” causes and groups and in turn the conservatives support them.  My fellow Christians love to tout their Chick-Fil-A cups.  I’m not offended by any of this and I say go for it!  However, being in the construction industry, we personally know some of the subcontractors working on the new Chick-Fil-A restaurant in Manhattan.  While they’re great guys, to my knowledge, none of them are church-goin’ people.  Unfortunately, they have been treated with arrogance and condescension by the Chick-Fil-A “higher ups” throughout this project.  This does not help to represent Jesus in a positive inviting way to all those working on the job.

By labeling themselves as a Christian owed business Chick-Fil-A takes on a huge responsibility.  No one is perfect; we all misrepresent our faith by our actions and words – sometimes accidentally and sometimes with full understanding.  But there must be a focus on sincerity and consistency.  Paul reminds us, “Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”  (Colossians 3:17)  For whatever reason, symbols of faith evoke emotion like no other.  If someone cuts you off in traffic with a fish symbol stuck to their bumper you think it’s un-Christian.  If the guy at Walmart with a church softball team t-shirt lets out a string of four letter words it doesn’t add up.

My question since the lesson two weeks ago is if we do more harm than good when we shout the word Christian.  I remember interviewing for a job in college and being told, “we’re a Christian business but we don’t shout it”, and thinking that didn’t make sense.  Now I understand more.  Being a Christian is a big responsibility.  Sometimes I wonder if God would rather we live our lives so as to emit the resulting fruit of the Spirit living within us instead of printing it on our bumper stickers and t-shirts.  Perhaps that would speak more to those we desire to influence.

How do you tithe without an income?

                In January our ministry staff challenged the church with considering pledging to tithe for 90 days.  No challenge for us.  We’ve been tithing for basically our entire marriage.  We’ve seen over and over how God has taken care of us.  Through the ups and downs of small business ownership we have always had every need met.
                However, this challenge was different for our family.  Just six weeks before this challenge Ray ended his partnership with Schultz Construction, and therefore no more regular paychecks.  The same week as the challenge I ended my time at Schultz Construction.  Through this lesson series I was thinking, “how do you tithe, when you have no income?”  “what if someone is keeping track on a list a notices our checks have stopped?”.  So each week I just listened; when I felt led to write a check, I did.  When we had money in our account I wrote a check.  When there wasn’t, I didn’t.  And I trusted God would take care of us in the same manner as He had in the past.
                And He did.  As I look back on the past six months of atypical tithing I see His timing over and over.  My wonderfully frugal husband’s leadership set us up for living six months without a paycheck.  This allowed us to flat-out buy the truck he needed. Ray’s parents loaned us money to buy a trailer.  My substitute teaching jobs usually covered our monthly grocery bill.  Our federal tax refund came back at very un-government-like speed.  When I was preparing to end our monthly support of the Croatia church, and cancel dentist appointments because of no insurance, my parents gave us money as a gift, because they had helped my brother in the same way 7 years ago.  My sister-in-law paid me ahead of time for taking care of her girls in June. We made the hard decision to sell our 40 acres to eliminate debt – it sold in 36 hours.  One construction client paid us an extra $50 for “fuel cost”.  My mom arrived at our house one Saturday with groceries – gluten free food (which is extra expensive), paper products (because she knew I was stressed out about feeding our Friday night bible study), laundry detergent, etc.  And, in a couple instances I “found” money I forgot we had.  Over and over God slipped these blessings into our lives.
                Today, six months after that Sunday, the light seems to have appeared at the end of the tunnel – and right now we think it’s growing.  We continue to see God supplying us with jobs.  Those three years of a near six-figure combined income sure was nice, but today I’m thankful for the nature of Ray’s job.  While we have several jobs lined up in the near future, there is no guarantee beyond. We have to fully trust God will give us what we need.  If we had a typical regular paycheck I think I would easily become complacent with His care for us.  This way, I have to rely on Him because there is no other choice.
                So whether you were the ones physically helping us, the ones challenging us to tithe, the ones who have repeatedly encouraged us through the job transitions, the ones praying for our family….we are grateful beyond what we can express.

Thank you for five years!

Imagine you are going to travel for 24 hours to the other side of the world to live with a family you don't know for 10 days. During that time you'll work tirelessly, have a different sleep pattern, eat different food, and constantly deal with a language barrier. Then you'll go home and wait a year till you see them again and repeat the process. How many times do you think this would have to happen before you felt like they were true friends? How long till you felt like their home was your home, where you understand the dos and don'ts? How long till you could accurately put away dishes in their cabinets and food in their pantry? How long till you could joke and tease without the fear of misunderstanding? How long till the small talk is unnecessary because there are deep and intimate issues to discuss and pray about? I can tell you, for each of these to be completely true, it was three years for us. We've now been to Croatia five times, three of which we have stayed in the Dominic's home. Each year the greeting phase shortens and the grieving at good-bye lengthens. The work there is equally as important as it is everywhere else, but for our family God has nestled the people of Brezje and Varazdin deep into our hearts. We think of them no differently than our own family. Rajan, Hana, Rahela, and Maja are as important to us as our own children. When we are with the Dominics there are moments of heart wrenching stress as we share our struggles, worries, and decisions; but there are moments to balance of unexplainable joy and laughter as we share stories from the past year and laugh about pointless things like chickens and small bags of sugar.

Many of you probably heard me say this was probably the last year for awhile for us visiting Croatia. We had reached our five year commitment. It was time for something new, someone else, etc. I suppose God got quite a kick out of me thinking I knew the future. While we are always careful to never commit for next year while we are there in Croatia, Ray and I both knew without a doubt our work is not over yet. Time will tell when God will have us return, but for now we are immensely grateful for all who have helped us in the past five years. During that time we have raised approximately $33,000.00 to pay for expenses. Donations have ranged from $10-$1000, and everything in between . We’ve baked approximately 3000 Easter cookies. And we’ve had aproximately 90 different donors. Many of you have faithfully given each year and for that we are especially thankful. Thank you just doesn’t seem like enough so we pray God will give you a sense of gratitude on our behalf and that He will bless you because of your support of us and therefore faithfulness to Him. Sincerely, Ray, Laura, Rachel & Jonathan

Gluten Free Chocolate Sea Salt Ice Cream Sandwiches

Recently made this recipe for dessert at a Life Group BBQ. It was a hit! Enjoy. I found the originaly recipe on Pinterest. I've included a link to the original source. I doubled the entire recipe and made 8 very big ice cream sandwiches. It could probably be 10 sandwiches fairly easily. I made half with chocolate ice cream and half with vanilla. Obviously any kind would work. I doubled the flour amount (so quadrupled for a double recipe) and tripled the espresso (because I usually find I can't taste the coffee flavor in cookies, and because I used instant coffee instead of espresso too). The cookies are definitely yummy enough to use just as a typical cookie recipe, not just for ice cream sandwiches.

Here's the non-gluten free recipe. For Rachel's cookies we used Bette Hagmen's "Chocolate Surprise" cookies - minus the surprise part. Here's that recipe: 1 1/2 GF flour mix 3/4 t. xanthan gum 1/2 t. salt 1/2 c. unsweetened cocoa 1/2 t. baking soda 1/2 c. suagar 1/2 c. brown sugar 1/2 c. margarine 1/4 c. creamy peanutbutter 1 t. vanilla 1 egg Bake at 375 for 9 minutes. I sprinkled them with a bit of coarse sea salt just like the "regular" cookies. If making the "surprise" cookies. 3/4 c. peanutbutter 3/4 c. powdered sugar Mix the filling. Make into balls and form the dough around the filling. Roll in granulated sugar.

Gluten Free Lemon Zucchini Bread

A "lemon zucchini bread" recipe has been circulating on Pinterest. For Rachel I decided to attempt a gluten-free option. It turned out really well. Everyone at the table asked for seconds, which equals success for me!

1 c. oat flour 1/2 c. tapioca starch 1/2 c. sweet rice flour (or, 2 cups of your choice gluten free flour) 1/2 t. salt 2 t. baking powder 1 t. baking soda 1 t. xanthan gum 2/3 c. sugar Mix dry ingredients. Add: 3 eggs 1/2 c. oil 1/2 c. buttermilk 2 T. lemon juice Fold in gently: 1-1/2 c. grated zucchini Bake in a greased large loaf pan at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Test with a toothpick and watch closely at the end of baking. Allow to cool for 10 mintues then turn out onto a wire rack to cool further. Slice and drizzle with lemon glaze. Glaze: 1 c. powdered sugar 1 t. lemon juice water - to desired consistency

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! The longer I am a mother, the more I realize the great gifts my mother gave me as I grew up. It hit me one day when Rachel asked me to help put clothes on her Barbie doll. It wasn’t terribly convenient for me to help at that moment, but I suddenly remembered asking my mom for the same assistance – many, many times! I do not ever remember her telling me “no” for a task such as Barbie clothes. Even further, I remember many, many tiny clothes created by my mom for my Barbies, many of which Rachel still plays with today. Those are treasures to me now. I was prompted again to remember a similar subject last week when Jonathan asked to have – what our family affectionately calls a “tea party” – while I was making dinner one night last week. My initial response was “no”. After all, it was almost dinner time, it was a school night, I didn’t want the mess, it’s a waste of the ingredients, and I suppose I could go on. But…my mom would have let us. She would have gone upstairs and got out the little hexagon shaped table. I would put on my little yellow gingham apron with hand stitched flowers, which she made. We would pull out the cardboard box with my “tea party dishes” inside and burners and dials drawn on the top with which to “cook”. Then each of my little bowls would hold flour, sugar, brown sugar, salt, cocoa, etc. and I was free to cook. But it doesn’t end there! After I had made my special creations, mom never hesitated to taste the ones I deemed “good”. This perhaps now impresses me most of all! :-) So with these recent events in mind, and as Mother’s Day approached this year, my little brainstorming mind kept thinking of the other great things about my mom. Like the way we made “houses” in her lilac bushes. Instead of nicely shaped shrubs, she had little “rooms” throughout the shrubs which I’m sure Drew and I cut out with the garden loppers. ~ Or the seemingly hours and hours we had to spend every February (usually the night before the party) making homemade Valentines for our classmates. She would cut out little pictures from magazines for weeks. Then there were the doilies, construction paper, and glitter! ~ And the Mud Pies! Piles of mud and water and sticks and rocks on the side of the horse-tank and the side walk in front of the house. Oh for the patience of remembering: Piles of mud on the sidewalk are NO BIG DEAL, Laura! ~ After the Mud Pies we probably took a Bubble Bath. With *a lot* of bubbles. Complete with multiple kitchen utensils and measuring cups, so we could, once again, “cook” in the bath tub. (I’m seeing a trend here! :-) ~ Speaking of baths….Drew and I grew up in a big house that is more than 100 years old. It is primarily heated with a wood stove. It was rare (mostly first thing in the morning) to hear the furnace click on. And the only bathroom is a long way from the stove, so I remember many baths in clothesbaskets filled with warm water next to the stove. She even put a bit of bubble bath in those baths too. (The woman is nuts, I tell ya!) ~ My mom made great birthday cakes, gift I love passing along to my own kids these days! She also helped me make many cakes for the 4-H Fair. One summer I remember slaving away over a white cake with little pink flowers, I also remember reaching across the stove and my arm touching the icing on the cake. It ruined one side of my 8 year-old version of perfection. I was devastated. Dad was heartbroken because he couldn’t help. But mom to the rescue! She helped me fix it. I don’t remember what color of ribbon the cake won, but deeply ingrained in my mind is the comfort that mom can fix anything. ~ In 1991 when Dad was deployed in Desert Storm mom took a job at the Friendship House. I don’t know if it was from necessity, or a mere distraction from the worry of deployment, but I do know it was a great example. 10 years working at the bakery, more specifically “Baking”, involved starting work at 4 am, or perhaps earlier. That in turn involved going to bed much earlier than most other people. I listened to my mom get teased by friends for her early bed time. I saw her give up sleep to attend our school events. I saw her go to work early yet never give up church commitments, family events, etc. ~ And, on a more serious note, I watched, often from the outside, as my mom took care of her mother-in-law for many nights before Granny entered the nursing home. I watched as Mom care for her own mom at the end of her life, despite the harsh words Grandma had often written to her. I hope when that stage of my life comes I can go through it with the same care and grace. ~ Finally, what a joy it has been to watch my mom do many of these great things with her four fabulous grandchildren. Surely they will each have the same rich memories of their grandma! Thank you mom for a wonderful childhood! Thank you for the priceless memories! Thank you for reminding me of the precious years of childhood which I need to treasure with my own two little dears! When I grow up I want to me just like you! Happy Mother’s Day! I love you!

Returning to Croatia!

Our family will return to Croatia for the fourth time this summer. We're very excited to see the people who have become so dear to us and to meet those who have become our new Siblings in Christ since last summer. This time the kids will return with us for their third trip. They are really looking forward to it! We are excited to be travelling with Ron Brown this year as well. He is going to be a great addition to our team and we are thrilled to have the chance to share the wonderful work in Croatia with him.

As with the last three summers, you can follow our family on the A Heart for Croatia blog. It's always a great encouragement to see your comments and know there are people praying for our work. Our days are already quite full and planned and we're excited to be offering VBS to the children of the village of Brezje, Baseball, another evening of a Couples Class, kid's classes for the church members and lots of time with the church members. Since we will only be gone 11 days this time, we will try and pack in as many wonderful things as we can.

So many of you have wonderfully supported us over the past several years. We are so, so thankful for you. We ask for your prayers again as we plan our upcoming trip. It's getting closer and there are many things to do! There are only about six weeks to go and the time will surely fly by!

October 27, 2004

Seven years ago I had a sweet little girl and we were looking forward to meeting our next baby in June of 2005. On the morning of October 27 Rachel and I were getting ready to go somewhere, I don't remember where. She was still in her crib. As I walked through the house, I could take you to the exact spot, I felt an unsettling sensation. There was lots of bright red blood and no doubt what was happening. I felt stunned that a miscarriage could be a reality for me. I was thankful for the wonderful education of Topeka's Birth and Women's Center. I knew I could trust my body and I knew how to let it tell me what was happening. I also automatically knew I could trust God to take care of my baby, whether that be here or somewhere between here and eternity. As it all began to sink in, I remember distinctly thinking, "I have a baby in heaven waiting for me." It was my first time to truly long for Heaven.

Before I called the Birth Center I got a cup of juice, sat in the rocking chair, and put my feet up. (Because I could hear Norla's voice telling me to do that.) I was put on hold. I began to cry. Finally someone named Lori answered the phone. I remember thinking, "I don't want to talk to Lori. I don't know her. I want my midwife." Lori was sweet and encouraging and told me to rest and be peaceful and let my body decide what to do. In the weeks after, I was proud of myself for never having a freak-out moment through all that. I instinctively knew there was not a reason to go to my general dr. or the ER. Incidentally --- I knew Lori. She had been the one who taught my birth prep classes with Rachel. I loved Lori and now I *really* love Lori. In the moment, however, my brain just didn't process who she was on the phone.

I suppose I called Ray first, but I don't honestly remember what order I called Ray, my mom, and the Birth Center. They both came from work to be sure I was okay. I think Ray was at a loss for what to do. Eventually he went back to work and I was okay with that. I remember sitting on the floor and holding Rachel and realizing how precious a healthy baby is. Something I have never taken for granted in the following year as I have rejoiced over Jonathan's birth, Keri's birth, and more than 20 doula clients.

My dear Traci brought me Panera the next day for lunch and shared my tears. And the following evening we shared more tears and prayers with our Friday night bible study on the living room floor at the Townsend's. Even now as I type, those are the sacred memories that bring me to tears. The love and friendship of my brothers and sisters in that group is one of my life's biggest blessings.

Given the choice, I'm certain I would have passed on the option of going through a miscarriage. However, it's a memory and experience I deeply value. While there was plenty of sadness and loss, I also rejoice with the Hope of Heaven. I think of it in a whole new way. It's a real place to me because a part of me is already there and I can't wait to get there too.

This year on October 27 I decided to so something special to commemorate. Actually I've been thinking of it for a couple years, but for a variety of reasons haven't until now.

Rachel's on my right, Jonathan's on my left, and a heart for the baby is in the middle. ~So, so thankful.~

As we transition to worshiping with a new church family a thought/word picture entered my mind during worship last week: I never realized I grew up walking on egg shells, until my feet recently started to heal.

It's not meant to be a negative picture, but a picture of a new found peaceful freedom. Just my thoughts thus far. I'm sure there will be more to come.

The Prrrride of Wildcat Land, the K-State Marching Band!

Kinda gives you goose bumps, huh? :-)

Tomorrow begins the K-State football season. Thousands will be doing the Wabash and singing the fight song:

Fight, you K-State Wildcats,
For alma mater fight! FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!
Glory in the combat
For the purple and the white.
Faithful to our colors
We shall ever be
Fighting, ever fighting
For a Wildcat victory. Go State!

Why? We're proud of our team. We love purple! We point out Willie to our kids. We wear the jerseys. We sing the song. We count the push-ups.

You know my favorite part of going to a K-State basketball game? It's not the tip off, or any part of the game. I *love* watching the team walk down the tunnel on the jumbo-tron. It's loud! It's exciting! It's the anticipation!

So what's my point?

Today as I drove to work I heard a commercial with the fight song in the background. Almost simultaneously, as I was singing in my head..."glory in the combat for the purple and the white"... I was driving by flag after flag at half-staff. ~~~"Kansas Governor Sam Brownback has ordered flags in the State of Kansas to be flown at half-staff on Friday, Sept. 2, in honor of Sergeant Alexander Bennett who died on Aug. 6, while serving in the U.S. Army in Afghanistan"~~~ And a question hit me: Do those who refuse to sing the National Anthem also refuse to sing their school's fight song? Because you know what? The National Anthem is our country's fight song. If you don't want to sing the words or put your hand over your heart I think that's okay. We're fortunate to live in a place where we're both free to do as we please, however, if you don't understand why some of us do chose to do so, think of the atmosphere at a college game when the fight song is being played. The feeling is very similar. I suppose it's different for everyone and some might disagree. But I'm confident in saying there are many who love red, white, and blue in a similar way we love purple.

Go State!

She threw away the vase! It's been a picture stuck in my head for weeks now. Recently a friend recommended a book on the importance of wives and their influence on their husbands. It arrived in the mail yesterday and I'm anxious to get started. As we talked I told her about an event I witnessed from a distance. It was a friend's birthday at the beginning of August. Her husband sent her a breath-taking bouquet of pink and red roses for her birthday. I mean the kind that have a huge glass vase and are exquisite from any angle. They sat on her desk for several days, and, as all cut flowers do, they wilted and eventually were thoroughly brown. Not long after, another individual and her husband met her for lunch. As they left the office she carried with her the vase of brown roses. Before they all got in the vehicle together she walked over to the dumpster and threw away the flowers, and the vase. She probably didn't even notice, but her husband stood on the sidewalk and watched the whole thing.

Now. I know I was raised in a family who does not waste anything, if it's reasonable to expect so. I mean, for crying out loud! My mom dipped out the water from the rinse cycle in the washing machine, so she could use it to dump back in and start her next load of laundry. She would never dream of throwing away a glass vase. It would go in her stash under the sink and then resurface when she had flowers from her own yard. They would sit on our table, or be given to a friend.

Back to the dumpster and the husband. Putting the wasteful aspect aside, the respect issue is a much larger topic to tackle. I believe the bible specifically commands husbands to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands for a very specific reason. Typically husbands would choose to be respected, over a feeling of love. We as wives have no idea the power we hold. A single word, a single action, a single sigh, a single expression....far beyond what we understand, we hold our husband's self-worth in our hands. It is something we should treasure and thoughtfully consider. A husband who feels respected and honored is and entirely different man than the one who feels belittled or over-ridden.

All of us, in our own ways, have thrown away the vase. My hope is that as we continue along that we become more and more perceptive to how our decisions, actions, and words as wives affect our husbands. God has given us a treasure and a gift. My prayer is that we use that gift to honor Him, honor our marriages, and honor our husbands.

And where to begin? It was a 48 hour labor. It was a frightful birth. However...God was in control and His perfect planning and timing was so evident to all of us. The morning after the birth we spent a bit of time thanking God for those specific blessings in the previous two days.

* safety as we both drove through severe storms to arrive at the hospital
* excellent nurses each night and day
* the right doctor available
* a place for my kids to go
* Drew's availability to take care of Keri
* the patience given during difficult decisions
* special friends praying from afar
* my availability to be there
* a patient and encouraging hospital staff
* rest when needed, even for just a few minutes
* a quality breakfast at the hotel, might sound strange, but it was definitely a blessing
* a hospital discount at the hotel
* medical technology, giving us the freedom to make the most informed choices possible
* God's guidance for those choices that involved the inevitable unknowns of birth
* the best doctor quote ever: "It was a treat to have a mom and dad who was patient with the birth process and not rushing into quick decisions."
* Christian nurses with a great mix of gentleness and sense of humor.
* Madelynn's great coping with being away from mom and dad for several nights for the first time.
* More blessings than we even humanly realize.....

"...the heart of Asa was wholly true to the LORD all his days."
~ 1 Kings 15:14

What a blessing to be an intimate part of your birth sweet boy!

(traveling in style - Ray came to visit and brought the trailer so I didn't have to drive home :-)

So....is it poor manners to blog during a birth? This is certainly a first - and, ironically, a last. I think every doula has "what if" birth fears. For whatever reason, God is allowing all my fears to come alive this time around. I drove three and a half hours to this birth - with a headache - in a severe thunder storm. Contractions went on all night, but little change in the cervix. Little sleep. Small area to walk. Now, 19 hours after I left home, we're still having contractions consistently and mom and dad are walking together in Walmart. But there is light! All babies come eventually! And, these are great friends of ours! If they weren't this might put me over the edge. Because they are, I can easily maintain my optimism and energy. A reminder that all births are lovely miracles from God. And so we walk....and wait...come on baby Asa, let's see your pretty face!

In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone O LORD, make me dwell in safety. ~ Psalms 4:8

Dreams. They really are strange if you think about it. My brain makes up stories when I'm asleep. Some of them are really pointless. Some of them are really confusing. Some of them are extremely meaningful. Stick with me here.

This past week I've been prompted, by several dreams, to seriously consider what role, if any, do God and Satan play in our dreams. I don't really know. Without a doubt God used dreams in the bible. Many, many people were given legitimate information through their dreams. At the same time, I think it's ridiculous to think all our dreams mean something. But I also think we lead very busy lives and possibly our sleep is the only time we slow down enough to "listen" to God.

Even scarier, to me, what about Satan's role? Are dreams a tool of his too? Again, I don't know. If I think about that question for too long I could really freak out! And, really, since it's a question with no answer, it's probably best not to waste too much time on it. So instead of talking in circles - that really annoys me - let's get to the point.

I definitely feel God gave me a word picture via a dream concerning a major decision Ray and I will be making in the near future. It wasn't a booming voice, or a promise, or a glimpse of the future, but I feel it was something to take seriously. That was several weeks ago and I've had plenty of time to think about it. I've only shared its details with Ray.

I also think there are times when I am challenged through dreams. Often my worries and fears are exposed, my temptations are brought to light, or my insecurities are made obvious. Now, I don't know that I believe it is something specifically controlled by Satan: "Tonight I think she shall dream about....this!" I don't think so. But I do think those are prime times to give those fears, temptations, and insecurities to God and ask Him for strength to fight them or get through them. It's also a good time to analyze myself (sounds deep, huh?) and any current circumstances in life. Sometimes when I dream something worrisome it's my reminder that God is in control and I'm perfect capable (with Him alongside) to accomplish the coming task.

Perhaps tougher, the temptations. They wouldn't be temptations if they weren't desirable. These are the times when I get frustrated. I didn't think that on purpose! I wasn't even given the chance to consciously say/think "no" or "go away". Perhaps at these times it's my job to practice not re-living the dream and its circumstances or people involved over and over in my mind. Uggh! So frustrating.

Maybe it's grasping at straws for some of you, but I don't see why we shouldn't relate every bit of our lives to God, even something that is as vague and "sub-conscience" as our dreams. So if you're plagued by worrisome dreams or dreams that make you feel insecure or dreams that indulge a temptation, ask God for relief. We are promised that He "goes with us wherever we go." Why should that not include our sleep.

We all know how lullabys work for young children. They calm and soothe and invite peaceful sleep. Here's something to enjoy that functions in much the same role for me. The picture doesn't change, so close your eyes and enjoy the words: Lullaby for big people.

Last time she was disappointed. Last time she was under pressure by her doctor. Last time her nurse was impatient. Last time did not go as planned.

Today she was amazing. Today she let her body direct the production. Today her nurse was encouraging and comassionate. Today she was proud of herself.

I'm so proud of moms who don't automatically go with the flow when it comes to their births. This mom was scheduled for an induction 5 days ago. She cancelled. This morning her water broke on its own. She spent early labor in the comfort of her own home. She walked the halls even when she would have rather been in bed. She had a wonderful attitude through the entire labor. I was a proud doula! After walking and sitting on the ball, the next option was the tub. After less than 15 minutes in the comfort of warm water, it was time. 20 minutes from 7 cm to birth. My favorite quote: "I did it just how I wanted to do it. I wanted to feel it the way we were meant to have babies."

This afternoon I left with a quiet, content nursing little girl, a proud father, and a beautifully happy mama. What a blessing to be a part of this day.

I'm the Innkeeper. I figured it out. It's always bothered me that I can't answer the over-used ice breaker question: Which Bible Character are you? I don't know if it's used in other denominations, but oh my have I heard that question way too many times. And what are the "right" answers? David, if you're a guy and Martha, if you're a girl. Why? Because David was a man after God's own heart, yet he still made some pretty huge mistakes in life. Martha was too busy running her household to listen to Jesus. I don't know how I've answered the question in the past, I honestly don't remember, but I know it now.

I'm the Innkeeper.

I have some Martha tendencies. I can easily busy myself with tasks that are very necessary, but not real important. I'm often content to be in my house and away from lots of people. However, if there is a need presented to me or in my view, I'm more than happy to help, encourage, and sincerely care. As I have thought about this concept in the last couple weeks, it's been a real comfort. A reassurance that I am who I am and I don't have to try and be like anyone else or make comparisons to others which are typically unfair to both parties - the one doing the comparing and the one being analyzed.

I don't have a jump out there personality. I can do it when I feel prompted, but I don't enjoy it till it's over. However, there are people in my life - some of them very close to me - who do have that natural ability. Often I have followed their lead. Some of my most meaningful relationships - the ones where I feel fortunate enough to make a difference in the life of another - have come by way of these other outgoing friends making the first move. For a long time I thought that wasn't fair. I felt like they were doing the hard work and I was taking advantage of that. While I think that can happen, I also think there is a picture of the Body in that scenario. You see, those friends who love being among many people need to go back out on the road and find more travellers. It's what they're gifted at. It's not at all that they don't care about the individual, or aren't willing to slow down and make that personal difference when the time is right, but they are often gifted by God for other purposes.

Now, this realization doesn't excuse me from not going out on the road and looking for the tired traveling couple or the injured lying along the road. I still have that responsibility, and so do you. Jesus clearly called us all to go into the world and share His story and Hope. But, what a comfort to know it takes all types of people for the body of Christ to function at its best.

So anytime you need bandaged up, a clean comfortable room, breakfast in bed, a stable to have a baby....come on by. :-)

Who was the Innkeeper? Read all about it: Luke 2:1-7; Luke 10:25-37; Matthew 28:16-20

Today I am praying for the beautiful Joanne. Her picture is to the right. She is a living miracle and I encourage you to read her amazing story and pray with me. God is good.

Click here to read her story and see why I've posted my charm bracelet picture!

Love, Promises, & Times Gone By

I've been inundated by love this week. Not the mushy gushy kind. More informational and contemplative. What does love mean? What is it supposed to visually look like in my life? Who am I supposed to love, really?

1 Corinthians 13 is probably the most widely read passage concerning love. Here's what I've been studying, via the bible study, "Living Beyond Yourself".
Love is patient - a word meaning "a person who is able to avenge himself, but restrains from doing so".
Love is kind - it is useful
Love does not envy - envy always ends in some sort of action; jealous
Love does not boast - it does not brag for personal gain. The only One we are to boast about is God.
Love is not proud - pride causes destruction, captivity, and deception
Love is not rude - "A Spirit filled Christian immediately senses that the Holy Spirit is offended in the presence of obscenity."
Love is not self-seeking - it seeks the highest and best for another
Love is not easily angered - we can't be rich in love and quick to anger (Ps 145:8)
Love keeps no record of wrongs - it is fairly forgetful
Love does not delight in evil - Psalm 119:29-32
Love protects - it "covers in silence", doesn't expose the faults of others,
Love trusts - it is not skeptical
Love hopes - it expects with desire
Love perseveres - it "remains under", hangs in there, How easily are you discouraged within a relationship?
Love doesn't fail - "never without effect and never in vain"

It's easy to apply these convictions to my immediate family. I love my children beyond words. The older my children get and the more they turn into their own people the more I love them. The more I look forward to what they will grow into in the future. Inside Ray's wedding ring are the words, "protect", "trust", "hope", "persevere". I easily made those promises to him because of how much I love him, all those ways listed above.

My questions come with others. What are my responsibilities to my friends, to casual acquaintances, to extended family, to complete strangers? I specifically looked for verses about friends. I was amazed what I found. Frequently "friends" and "love" are mentioned together. A friend loves at all times. (Prv 18:24) Jesus was a friend [loved] the tax collectors. (Mat 11:19) A friend who loves will lay down her life for a friend. (Jn 15:13) From this I am reminded that we should love everyone. The easy and the difficult. And those who are usually easy when they're difficult. I can't love circumstantially. I can't choose who to love. God will determine that by who He puts in my path. I have to believe, and remember in the moment, that I am commanded to love in a supernatural way. And, because I have the Spirit, I can do that, not perfectly, but it should be my goal.

One definition of love is "philos", a friend's love. What does the bible say about this form of love among friends? It says we should love our friends above ourselves (Luke 14). It says we should live life in a way that we can both rejoice as well as cry together (Luke 15). Sadly, it says we should be ready because some friends will betray us (Luke 21). And it clearly gives an example of how friends can be a detriment to each other (Luke 23). In this example we see how friends are often formed through common interests. Here sits the idea: You are who you hang around with.

We all long for friends who genuinely love us and are so intimately involved in our lives that they know when we are rejoicing and when we are sad. None of us want to have to announce, "Hey, I'm sad today." We desire a "tas philas" (female friends) who instinctually understands us. Unfortunately it doesn't take long to realize all humans let us down from time to time, especially those we consider our friends. Perhaps those are the hardest of all. At those times for me it's easy to think, 'I'm finished with new friends'. I don't want to put myself out there for any more disappointment, hurt, frustration, replacement, loss, sadness.... The Bible, however, I believe, says quite the opposite. The whispers in our ears that says we don't need people is not the Spirit. As a matter of fact we are to demonstrate love to one another as brothers and sisters (I Peter 3). I don't believe God sees blood siblings as we do. In His eyes we're all blood siblings ~ through Jesus' blood. God's words implore us to love one another. It even gives us permission at times to be partial to our Spiritual family (Galatians 6). Bottom line for me as I think through all this, we often say we don't get to choose our family but we can choose our friends. I propose, not so! We don't get to choose whom to love because of Christ. Thank goodness He doesn't have the attitude of picking and choosing toward us which we so easily fall into. I am immensely thankful for the friends God has placed in my life a specific times. I always view them as gifts, practically right down to picturing a bow on top of their heads! :-)

The other topic on my mind has been Times Gone By. When I hear "Tears in Heaven" I'm instantly transported to the Wamego Middle School wrestling deck. The end of an era. When I sit in the Upstairs Auditorium I'm reminded of my Spiritual upbringing as a child. The end of an era. When I drive by Hopkins Creek Rd I remember the first year of marriage. The end of an era. When I visit the Birth Center for my "annual" I remember waddling through the door deep into labor and wandering out with a tiny new person. The end of an era. When I drive by homes of friends who have moved away I can't help but reminisce. The end of an era. It could go on, but I won't for now. The purpose of this is not to be depressing, just sentimental. Seems a lot of changes are coming our way this year too. Ray's new job continues to be a roller coaster of emotions and figuring out new people and situations. I'm nearly finished taking care of Keri. I have two remaining doula clients and then I'll be finished for the foreseeable future. In the fall Jonathan will begin Kindergarten and both kids will be in school all day. In July I'll begin working part time, in August it'll be full time. Our congregation is searching for a new Campus Minister. Many people have transitioned out of our church for various reasons. Relationships have changed forever and I anticipate more of the same changes. As I consider all this I'm thankful for the two constants in my life: God first and my husband second. We're a great team, the three of us. As other circumstances and relationships change, I know we're in this together. Though I feel like I'm in mourning for some of the things that will never be the same, I look forward to the future. "Pressing on toward the goal", you might say.

I'm thankful for the way God specifically spells out what love looks like, what friends look like, and His high expectations of us. I'm also thankful He specifically promises He will always be with us and that He has a plan for us.

I'm sure you've seen some version of the "cardboard testimonies" done in churches all over the country. I'll post a link, if you don't know what I mean. Cardboard Testimonies Ever since I saw my first of those videos I've contemplated what my cardboard testimony would be. Truly, I've been stumped. Not in an "I'm just that perfect" kind of way, but in a "what kind of dramatic change has happened to me" kind of way. It actually makes me sad that I can't think of anything right away. Maybe I'm not being contemplative enough. Maybe I'm not being honest with myself. Maybe I'm not giving God enough credit. Would I actually wish for something "major" so that I have a story - sometimes, yes. But my husband often reminds me of the blessing of a good life and the blessings that often flow from good decisions. And then I'm tempted to steel myself for the crash in the future. But that's not holding my faith to be true. Why should I expect a good God to have a painful plan for me? I don't mean I expect things to forever be easy. I want to truly trust God is already in the future and waiting to support me no matter what happens.

So what would my sign say? I'm convinced I would need two signs, one for myself and one for my view of others. For now I concentrate only one. I have a feeling every one's signs would change over time. As our lives continue and we experience new challenges and analyze old memories and we see things in a different light. However, for me, right now, I've had a week of deep contemplation. I've felt sobered by the thoughts I've been analyzing. God has spoken over and over this week to me of my worth. The first side of my sign would say, "2 decades of believing Satan's lies of worthlessness". I'm not sure what the second side would say yet, but today I believe I would write, "Filled with God's Value". It's vague, I know. That's where I'm at now. I guess I know the first side well because I've identified it. I'm still working on the second side. I feel it, but I'm still working on belief. For now, I know I'm immensely thankful to God for creating me to be a person of worth. I'm thankful for the ways he's communicated that to me in the past few days. And, I'm thankful for the people He continues to place in my path. Thankful for their example, and their words, and their persistence, and their willingness to listen to God's prodding to be my friend, and their willingness to walk along side me (sometimes walk behind me and push!) God is good. I'll continue to keep listening for my "second side".

Over and over I've thought of the biblical image of the Body of Christ since I hurt my finger. Mostly I'm reminded that one small part of the body can really majorly effect the whole body. Kinda the "when one hurts, we all hurt" mentality. Today I was struck by the oposite view...one part can be the biggest strength of the whole body. Maybe it's because it also is a hand, but this blog really struck me. The Simple Wife .

We must all remember we are created in God's image. His image. It's not something to be forgotten or taken lightly. God doesn't create accidents. He doesn't create strife and pain. We are "wonderfully made" to be a functioning, adequate, and meaningful part of a Body.



I Corinthians 12

One Body with Many Members

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body— Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.

For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you," nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, helping, administrating, and various kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret? But earnestly desire the higher gifts.